Pastor Bosun Obafemi

A proactive couple should agree on the number of children to have, what to achieve at specific stages of their life, and how to live their old age. There should be mutual agreement on some fundamental issues concerning how to run their home. This is important because when they begin to have children, there may be shift of attention due to the demands of raising children.

Experience has shown that wives tend to shift their care and attention earlier given to their husbands to their children. In this situation, if there is no mutual understanding, the husband may feel abandoned and this can subsequently elicit negative responses toward the wife.

To build a godly home, husband and wife must be God-fearing and speak in one voice in training up their child(ren). The scriptural instruction to parents in this regard is in Proverbs 22:6 which says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

This proverb is a general statement about the importance of properly raising up our children on right values because that is what they will retain later in life. The admonition of Proverbs is that early training of the child helps to set his path to adulthood.

The parents, on their own, must have known the way of the Lord because no one can give what he does not possess. It has become ‘fashionable’ for some parents to push their children forward to church while they stay back at home. This is one of the inappropriate ways of leading a child in the way of the Lord by parents. Be a good example to your children in attitude, faith, diligence, integrity, and love for God. No other teacher can morally impact your children as much as you can as a parent. For this reason, you must teach your children godly values by your words and your actions. Teach your children to know and obey God’s commandments; teach them to pray at mealtime, bedtime, and for emergencies. And be sure to feed them a steady diet of Bible verses. Both the father and the mother have specific and joint responsibilities in nurturing their children.

The father is to provide physical needs of the family. These include provision of accommodation, feeding, clothing, education and finance for defence, growth and welfare of the family. In addition, he also facilitates the spiritual needs of his family by teaching the gospel to his wife and children. He ensures daily family prayer, makes their home a place that invites the Spirit of the Lord to abide with them, amongst other spiritual leadership roles. A father’s role is particularly vital, given that he needs to be a steadfast rock in decision-making and providing for the family spiritually, emotionally and financially.

On the other hand, a mother, as helpmeet to her husband, is the manager of the home. She takes care of the home, counsels her husband and supports him in ensuring the home is run peacefully. In fact, a wife plays a crucial role in sustaining the home. She even puts her life in danger during conception and child delivery.

In view of the mutual commitment of husband and wife in a home, coupled with the enormous roles they play as father and mother in their home, the Bible admonishes them thus:

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So, ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:” Ephesians 5:22-29.

In like manner, the children equally have responsibilities to their parents. According to Ephesians 6:1-3, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

Unfortunately, many children in our present world are disobedient and reluctant to follow the wise counsel of their parents. This deviant attitude may be subject to many factors among which are parental negligence, deceitful living, highhandedness and prayerlessness. Also, peer-group negative influence could be responsible.

It is important for every member of the family to be aware of the law of harvest. The father should expect to reap the result of his actions. Eli’s failure to stand firm against the unruly and abominable behaviour of his children led to God’s withdrawal of divine promises to the family and the sudden death of he and his two sons. Likewise, there is no honour for a wife who disrespects her husband, and a child who disobeys his or her parents will attract the wrath of God.

Marital life becomes enjoyable when there is love and unity in the family that is established on the word of God. This, by extension, will be reflected in the society, church and nation at large. Charity, indeed begins at home. Therefore, for you to enjoy goodwill in business, ministry, society, and other areas of your life, you need a peaceful home.

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