As a spinster, I frequently wondered why married couples who claim they married the love of their lives, or that they married God’s will for them, get divorced or separated.
One statement that puzzled me the most is “irreconcilable differences.” How on Earth did two lovebirds or a Christian couple get to the point where they can no longer resolve their misunderstandings?
Today, as a three-year-old married woman, I’ve come to see that it’s easy for my marriage, any marriage, to hit the rocks and get to the point of irreconcilable differences.
For hubby and I, it could have been on our wedding day, right after the wedding reception.
Thank God for the maturity of my husband and for my willingness to let the Holy Spirit rein in my emotions.
You see, marriage is not an emotional affair. Neither is it run by mere logic.
Marriage is a covenant commitment to take responsibility for the WELFARE (health, safety, happiness and prosperity; well-being in any respect) of another.
The goodnews is, you’ll not be left unattended to as you do this. Your ROI is directly proportional to what you put in.
Well, that is if you married right. Marriage is too heavy for just one partner to keep it going.
Until BOTH partners see and treat marriage as a covenant commitment to take responsibility for the WELFARE of one another, they’re bound to miss out on the multi-dimentional benefits of marriage.
Marriage is ENJOYABLE. I testify to this!
But, I won’t sugar-coat it for you. It takes the commitment and sacrifice of both parties to work.
It takes fasting.
It takes praying.
It takes forgiveness.
It takes discipline.
It takes diligence.
It takes listening and heeding the counsel of the Holy Spirit (divine wisdom).
It takes listening to your spouse.
It takes seeking knowledge to understand how the manufacturer – God, designed marriage to work.
It takes reading to understand how the opposite gender thinks and analyses things.
It takes choosing to be a servant leader either as the Husband or Wife.
It takes consciously and constantly teaching your spouse how to treat you with love and respect.
It takes knowing when to be firm and insist on your way and when to submit, bend and let things slide.
It takes being intentional about the friendships and associations you keep, the content you consume and your mindset and attitude towards marriage.
It takes forbearance.
It takes kindness.
It takes choosing peace above everything else, regardless of the circumstance.
It takes taking responsibility for your joy and not tying it to what your spouse does or does not do.
That’s a long list, right?
Well, the list is endless.
You prayed to be married. You prayed for God to send you ‘The One’. And He answered. What makes you think you’ll have to stop praying to enjoy your home?
You married God’s will is no excuse for you to stop seeking divine wisdom and contemporary knowledge for enjoying your marriage.
If you feel you married the wrong partner, there is still divine wisdom and contemporary knowledge for enjoying your marriage and your spouse.
Yes, darling.
Ask Aunty Abigail who literally married a fool (1 Samuel 25:2-42).
The grass always appears greener on the other side, but no marriage or anything for that matter, works on autopilot.
Someone puts in the work to constantly water every green garden. Your marriage can be that grass that looks green all year round if you commit to put in the diligent work it requires.
If yours is a godly marriage dedicated to kingdom advancement especially on the mountain of marriage, be rest assured that the devil won’t sit still and let you enjoy your marriage. He’ll fight your peace, your joy, your home, until he destroys your testimony.
But that can only happen if you let him.
The devil you’re ignoring is not ignoring you. He is not a nuisance. He’s a trained warrior and your home is the battlefield. Don’t rest on your oars. Because this is WAR.
Fight for your home. Fight for your marriage.
Like Nehemiah and his team, build the Stonewall of your marriage with one hand and wield the sword with the other hand.
Christian marriages are sweet and enjoyable and yours can join that statistics of happy homes. Only God can teach you how to marry your spouse and enjoy your marriage as you make the home equally enjoyable for your partner.
Love and Wisdom,
ChinyereDistinguished
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