Social media and relationship

By Abimbola Ologun

A single tap on a Smartphone screen can send a message halfway around the world in seconds making communication more effortless and seamless than ever before. This technological marvel has revolutionized communication in countless ways, both beneficial and harmful.

For couples, social media has become a double-edged sword enabling new levels of connection while also creating new challenges to navigate. From the joy of sharing milestones on Facebook to the jealousy inspired by a “like” on Instagram; social media has forever changed the landscape of modern-day relationships.

Just recently, a talented gospel singer, Mercy Chinwo and husband, Pastor Blessed, posted a picture of their son on their social media wall. This post went viral for the wrong reason. Some social media users speculated that Mercy played an away match to be able to give birth to a boy that has a striking resemblance with her colleague, Nathaniel Bassey.

Though the matter is said to be in court, but not without the damages this could cost if trust is not the bedrock of their marriage. This type of character assassination claim can easily wreck a home faster than you could ever imagine.

Another prominent comedian, Ayo Makun, popularly known as Ay, posted on his social media page that his marriage of 20 years was slipping through his hands. Why? Social media interference.

So many social media users feel a sense of entitlement as to what is happening in your home but that is of course if you have raised their hope initially by feeding them with happenings in your home.

We can say social media is a necessary evil that has come to stay but how do we manoeuvre our ways to use this medium to our advantage?

The Beautiful Day Testimonial conducted a vox pop to get the views of the people as regarding the impact of social media on marriage delving into the hidden danger, secrets and benefits of the digital space.

Igwe Godspower, a happily married man and a banker when asked what he knows about social media and its impact on marriages, shared his knowledge of social media with us noting the pros and cons of these platforms.

In his statement, “Social media is a means of communication; it could be through Facebook, WhatsApp or Instagram. Social media has both positive and negative influences on our marriages. The negative aspect of it is one can get corrupted. There are a lot of things that are being posted on social media that is not too good for a couple. For example, you see people posting nude pictures; such has a negative effect because it can corrupt someone’s mind. We have seen instances on Instagram where people post videos of people having sex. But it could have a positive effect if the social media is passing moral message across; for example, listening to men of God that preach about morality on their social media pages. The lesson that we gather from such people could help us in our marriages. Listening to daddy Adeboye’s message on various platforms has a positive effect on our marriages.”

On whether it is proper for people, especially Christians, to bare it all on social media, that is, sharing everything that happens in their home on social media, Godspower has this to say.

“To me, it is not too proper to put your marriage on social media for people to start commenting. Our comments, their reactions, could be demoralizing, it could affect your marriage. Some of them will post negative comments about your marriage. So, in order to safeguard your marriage, I don’t think it is proper to be showcasing your marriage on social media”

He however advised Christian couples not to join others in posting every activity that happens in their home on social media.

“My advice is especially to the Christian couples not to indulge in the habit of posting their marriage activities on social media because people’s comments can have a negative effect on them. Not that you will not post at all, but please mind what you post so that the social media will not come into our marriage. Some marriages have broken up as a result of social media effects. 

When asked if the opinion of social media users matters in his home, he opines that social media users and their comments should not be taken to heart as some are just there to chase clout.

In his words: “I don’t think one should take social media seriously because some people want to trend; they can publish negative information about a person that doesn’t represent the true position of things, just to trend. You know the more you get crowd, the more you make money. So, social media opinion should not count in our marriages.”

The Regional Overseer of the Mountain of Fire and Miracle Ministry, Pastor Abimbola Daniel, when asked if social media was a place to share every detail of what happens in your home, has this to say.

“Social media has a good and a bad role to play in one’s life. It is however good to keep your secret away from some people. Sometimes you just have to accept that some people can only be in your heart and not your life.

“Don’t broadcast every high and low of your life. Just live. Don’t try to convince the world you have a life.”

To further dig more into this topic, we spoke to an elderly woman to hear her view about the use of social media. She noted that most social media users are living a fake life.

“Most people usually put their entire life on social media and oftentimes, most of them are living a fake life and if one decides to follow it, might not end well. A woman once listened to her friend’s advice and moved out of her husband’s house. She later discovered that her friend has moved in with that her husband. When she confronted the friend, she said, “If I ask you to put hand in fire, will you put it?” So, putting your marriage on social media is very wrong. According to Micah 7:5, ‘keep the door of your mouth shut from her that lieth in thy bosom’. One has to be careful with information one is putting out.”

When asked if any of the couples should operate a social media account unknown to another, she stated that it is wrong, insisting that there is no secrecy in marriage.

“You are one, where there is love, love conquers all. Husband and wife shouldn’t keep secrets from each other. When the Lord created us, He said a man will leave his father and mother’s house and cleave to his wife, he says, what God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”

The Beautiful Day Testimonial also spoke with Oluwabukola Adeleke, a Microbiologist. She opines that new generation married couples love to compete on social media.

“Hmm, this was what we discussed in Sunday school on Sunday; I was even the one that handled the Sunday school. The topic was Broken Home. We talked about some of the causes of broken home which social media was listed among them.

“Most Gen Z married couples want to base their marriages on social media standards and celebrities. They want to compete with others on social media, they flaunt their lifestyles, and everything that happens in their home. Some will even ask for social media opinion in matters that happen in their home. Instagram live, Facebook live, is what they will be shouting up and down. Some even teach their children to be wayward on social media. Only God can deliver us from social media menace,” she stated.  

Social media has undeniably changed the landscape of modern relationships both positively and negatively. It offers a new way for couples to connect, celebrate and share their lives. However, it could lead to misunderstanding, trust issues, and unrealistic expectations. The key for couples is to find a healthy balance, one that allows them to enjoy the benefits of social media without allowing it to negatively impact their relationship.


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