Marriage is an honourable institution that was ordained by God for man and woman to live happily on earth. It is for communion, communication and procreation of likes on earth.
For a marriage to gain deep roots, it is important that the husband and wife have genuine love for each other. Apart from love, there must be mutual trust and understanding. It is on this pedestal that the love in the marriage is built. In addition to these,money is equally important in marriage.
Can marriage work without money or inadequate money to fund basic necessities in the family?
For many marriages that are destroyed or broken today, the cause is usually due to wrong financial decisions, mistrust in managing finances and the inability of the husband to meet up with his financial responsibilities. A survey carried out in 2018 by an American group, Ramsey Solution, revealed that money fights are the second leading cause of divorce, behind infidelity. According to the report, high levels of debt and a lack of communication are major causes of stress and anxiety surrounding household finances.
In managing finances in marriage, communication is key. Although it is statutorily the responsibility of the husband to provide for the family, he must ensure that he carries his wife along in making financial decisions. There should be agreement and the couple must be on the same page on financial issues that has to do with the family. According to Rachel Cruze, a Personal Finance Expert, “when a husband and wife can eliminate debt, a shift happens in their marriage. There’s a peace of mind they haven’t experienced before. Couples need to understand their money differences, like who the spender is and who the saver is, so they can be on the same page with their finances.”
RS survey shows that 43 percent of couples married more than 25 years started off in debt, while 86 percent of couples married five years or less started off in the red; twice the number of their older counterparts.
Another poll conducted by a United Kingdom based organization, Slater and Gordon, found that money worries are the leading cause of marriages falling apart. According to the poll, one in five said it was the biggest cause of their marital strife. According to the survey, over a third of those questioned said that financial pressures were the biggest challenge to their marriage, while a fifth said that most of their arguments were about money.
Marriage is a commitment, therefore, you and your partner owe each other an honest conversation about your finances, habits, goals and anxieties. It is advisable not to go into marriage with debt, either personal or collective. Such action is a crack in the foundation of any marriage.
According to another survey, Couples and Money, revealed that couples in debt disagree on whose responsibility the debt is and 49 percent contradict one another as to who exactly owes the debt. The survey further revealed that couples who are concerned about paying down debt are also more likely to suffer from poor communication, fighting and difficulty having conversation about money.
To therefore tackle this problem, you need to check your ego. As a couple you need to face reality. What is most important is what you agree on as a couple, not what the society is telling you. When the chips are down, the society will turn the blame on you, so you need to start taking responsibility without considering what your friends, family, club members and colleagues at work would say. If you have to withdraw your membership of any association in order to cut you finances, it is worth it. If you have to sell one of your luxury cars and get a less attractive one in order to face family finances, then it is important to do so.
It is not harmful if you seek professional advice on how to manage your finances as a family. A Financial Planner can help you understand how you can best use your assets to help you achieve the goals you set out as a couple. And most importantly, like Jesus said in Luke 14:28, “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?”Before embarking on the marriage journey, as a couple, you must sit to have discussions on how to manage your finances and what should be the financial priorities in your marriage.